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Recipes whose existence
begs the question, "Why?"


The defining characteristic of these recipes is that their utter lack of appeal is rivalled only by the amount of time it would take to prepare them. If I were planning to spend hours in the kitchen, I'd like to emerge with something that's edible, not comical.


Warning: contains graphic image of cheese-weaving The pitchers are full of soup: chilled, canned, condensed soup, to be precise. We have tomato with orange juice, potato with cream of chicken, and beef consommé with lemon wedges.

But what really floors me are the Lattice Cheese Sandwiches. Yes, it's woven processed cheese slices. Did you really need to ask?


This particular recipe was in a 1962 Better Homes and Gardens Best Buffets cookbook under the delusional heading of "High-society suppers with franks and burgers". I found a similar recipe in a WWII-era magazine.

While I can understand trying to do all you can to make war-time food more interesting, was there really any excuse in 1962, during one of the more prosperous periods in American history?

Follow this recipe precisely and you should end up with...


Hey, is this swanky or what?

Admire the fine craftsmanship required for the double-skewer technique



And for dessert? Mock Apple Pie!

It's the perfect dish to make when you're craving apple pie and have no access to apples but do have access to a pack of "round buttery crackers".

Or else it's just a big ol' joke. The jury's still out, as far as I'm concerned.

(I've been informed that this recipe is on the back of some Ritz cracker boxes to this day, which makes it a classic, I guess. Someone I know said morbid curiosity once compelled him to try it, and it tasted pretty much like you'd expect crackers, sugar and cinnamon would taste -- like mock apples, of course.)

Could this be a cookbook editor's idea of a prank?


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