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Truly awe-inspiring cakes


These are culled from something called The 1974 Wilton Yearbook of Cake Decorating. It seems to have been marketed to professional and amateur cake-decorators alike. While I can see the usefulness to a professional, it makes me kind of sad to think of someone in their home spending day after day decorating an object that will be consumed soon after its completion. Then again, I'd definitely think twice about actually consuming any of these beauties.

 

I guess this might not work so well if you were planning on decking your bridesmaids out in black minidresses, though. I have sort of informally instituted a "no bridal shower" request for when I get married. But I almost reconsidered when I saw this shower-themed cake. Is that cool or what?

I love how the bride is about twelve times the size of her bridesmaids.

 
At first I thought this was supposed to be a slightly clever take on bonsai. But then I noticed the charming animal trinkets and realized I was way off base.

Since this is the cake yearbook, I'd like to put in a vote for this one as "The Cake Whose Manufacture Cost Me Fourteen Hours of My Life That
I'll Never See Again."

Hey, it's Chia Cake!

 

 
my country, right or wrong
I live in Toronto right now, but I spent 17 years in the States and still travel on an American passport. So as far as I'm concerned, that gives me the perfect right to say that this cake frightens me.

It's not painted like a flag, so I guess it's not
illegal to eat it, just distasteful.

 

You'd think the tails and other garnish stuff would be made from plastic. BUT THEY'RE NOT. I can't even imagine how frustrating it would be to fashion all those tails out of frosting and then watch half of them break while you're trying to stick them onto the turkeys.

But mostly I love how the turkeys all have severely unappealing neck disorders.
Is that shredded American cheese product the turkeys are sitting on?



It tastes like...burning!

You know that Strawberry Festival Party you throw every summer? Well, okay, you don't, but just imagine you're living in a parallel universe where it's 1974 all the time. Suddenly the idea of spending days making the toxic red strawberry cake or the "edible" Big-Ass Strawberry Bucket sounds pretty enticing, doesn't it?
Really, just exactly how much free time would you need to have on your hands to even think about bothering with this?

There's more. Against all logic, sometimes
children's cakes are the most frightening of all.



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