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Just imagining all the germs those appliques would attract makes me want to kiss the porcelain god.

Designers are always nattering on about how you want to accentuate an architectural feature like, say, an attractive fireplace. I never really thought of toilets in that category, though.


Just dial 1-800-SKIN-RASH

Aw, matching pillowcases! Aside from the obvious codependency and aesthetic concerns, I can't help but worry that the paint would come off while you're sleeping or that it might cause some hideous facial rash.


"Hey, honey, when Betsy's done eating this plant I'm feeding her, maybe she can dispose of some of those dreadful crafts you've got cluttering up the house." Even the horse has to avert her gaze from the Artex.

This one deserves its own page. I hope you haven't eaten recently!



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