K I T S C H — Cate's Blog

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Sick

I've got the nasty head cold that's making its way around North America this month. It's not completely awful, though. The phlegm and the sinus pressure and the inability to draw breath and/or stay awake? Yeah, not exactly overly fabulous. But I've also got a bit of a fever, and that's almost fun. It's kind of like being stoned.

Best of all, everything is exceedingly funny. And a trip to the grocery store becomes an entire melodrama condensed into 15 minutes, during which I experience the full gamut of human emotion.

Tuesday I dragged my sorry self home from work at noon and had Peeter pick me up at the station. We stopped to buy curative necessities like grapefruit juice, lime-flavoured nacho chips, Red Cherry Starburst Lipsmackers lip gloss and orange nail polish. See, I figured all that fruit would help me get better real quick. Right? Right?

There may have been a People magazine also -- purely for medicinal purposes, of course.

Yeah, stuff it. While I never got addicted to all the Vicodin after I messed up my elbow in Austin last fall, I did get kind of hooked on People through the kindly auspices of the trash-magazine pushers masquerading as physiotherapists during my subsequent winter o' rehab.

All right, fine. Now that physio's over, I'm ravenously missing People but am too embarrassed to buy it. I confess. Happy now?

Jeez.

Anyway, as a last-minute concession to boring reality, I figured purchasing some facial tissues might not be a bad idea either.

The grocery store we went to is normally a pretty dowdy affair. Nothing had changed on Tuesday -- as far as objective reality goes, that is. But with my heightened sense of, what, fever perception? Everything looked super-duper pretty! Vegetables getting sprayed by those vegetable display jets? Wow, ethereal. Dang, even the ugly discount shampoo displays looked beautiful suddenly.

Then I switched over to comedy mode. Yeah, guy with 12 loaves of bread in his shopping basket? It's really not that funny. Unless you're wrapped in the ruthless grip of Fever. She's a damn madwoman!

Lunchables? Not so much funny as sad and dreary.

Vienna Sausages? Okay, come on, people. I said I was feverish, not brain-dead. That shit's nasty no matter what.

Then it was angst time.

Aauurgghh! Damn, why couldn't those bastards at Food Basics consistently mark down their dairy products in a way that tells me that when I get to the checkout I won't find out that the extra-old Cheddar is, in fact, not on sale? Seriously, you left me shattered and bleeding. But there's no hard feelings. There's no feelings at all. 'Cause, babe, when I needed you, you watched me stumble, you watched me fall. And I sincerely hope that whoever is responsible for this travesty gets fired for it.

Ooh, that Scorpions ballad that's playing on the radio is really good!

Et cetera.

Anyway, I'm finally feeling better, although I am a little upset that the nice doctor who wrote me the prescription for the lung infection thinks that I may have asthma. Which would explain a lot. However, combine that with the fact that my opthalmologist just told me I really should be wearing my glasses most of the time because the astigmatism can cause eye strain and headaches, and I feel like my body's giving out on me at an alarming rate.

On the other hand, I LOVE my new glasses. They've got a bit of a cliched librarian vibe going on, but I think the fact that they're Japanese completely cancels that out.

Here's an almost identical pair:



Nifty, huh?

Fortunately, like I said, I'm pretty much over the illness. The only symptoms that I still seem to be harbouring are some weird sleep patterns and the firmly held conviction that The Scorpions' "Still Loving You" is a really good song.

But then, it is. Oh, come on. It is!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Scary monsters and Super Friends

I slept really, really poorly last night. Maybe it's some vestigial fear of the first day of school? Or the fact that my apartment is hotter than the core of the earth and feels far too humid to support even the most rudimentary life form?

Yeah, that's the one.

But in the middle of the night I was blaming it on this movie, Lost Souls. Do you remember it? Oh, quit laughing! I got it gratis from the company I was freelancing for when it came out.

But seriously, I watched it and even enjoyed it. Well, mostly. It's a Winona Ryder movie that isn't Heathers, so that was kind of weird. I know!

Anyway. Remember the scene where they go to the sick priest's house and look through his arcane books trying to figure out what's going on with the the whole Satan-occupying-someone's-body thing? And then the serial killer whooshes down the hallway but his feet aren't even touching the ground? But he's totally locked up all the way across town at the time anyway? Okay, you have to admit that was kind of scary.

And all night long I kept imagining he was in my hallway. And maybe he was. After all, when I woke up this morning, I saw that the chain was off our front door. Ooh, spooky!

All right, who am I kidding? I got nothing for you right now. Sorry.

Look, why don't we all just go hang out at Seanbaby's Super Friends page instead. And while you're there, be sure to check out Aquaman's section. Aquaman rocks my fucking world.