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"Teen-Agers" From 1954:
The Sadness of Their
Profound Social Retardation


Where's Rod Serling? Oh, wait, I think he's plastered to the grille. What's the deal here? Are there different laws of physics for the left and right sides of the car? Did centrifugal force take a holiday and leave its crazy, drunk uncle in charge? As the car approaches light speed, expect the clocks to run backwards and rivers to flow upstream.

Then again, the problem could just be that the artist really, really sucks.
 

Say, fellows, how about stepping away from the crack pipe?

If all teen boys were like these guys, you'd have to wonder if there was a single teen pregnancy in 1954. Honestly, what girl would even want to hold hands with one of these losers, let alone sleep with him?

Even better, how about pushing yourself and all your friends out the back of the bus and into moving traffic?


Listen, beeotch, Flo and her crowd are in the other lunchroom talking trash about you behind your back. While it's safe to say that neither of these girls is any great prize, I'd rather sit with the one on the left. At least I could amuse myself by making thinly veiled rude comments to her. If I had to sit with Mary Poppins there on the right, I'd be nodding off into my reconstituted mashed potatoes long before lunch period was over.


I think there's a very real possibility that these bizarre freaks are the product of a marriage between cousins. It's also possible this drawing was David Lynch's inspiration for some of the creepier dream sequences in Twin Peaks.

Doesn't it look kind of like he's trying to shoot off his genitals? That would certainly make it a banner day for the gene pool.
Has anyone ever uttered two stupider sentences in a row?

Maybe the Teen-Agers would do better socially
if they had the slightest clue about grooming...



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